Uranium radiated ass

Berlin,Germany - Today scientists found the highest concentration of uranium ever compressed into one rod. The academic and scientific communities are ecstatic about the discovery. A leading scientist had this to say: "Well, this rod could prove to be the unifying factor to the causes of many deaths in the past" the scientist is of course talking about the location that the rod was found. In other News, the corpse of Adolph Hitler was recently found in Berlin as well, his body being completely preserved, it was easy to identify him, although no DNA testing was able to be done on the corpse due to the fact that he had a uranium rod stuffed up his ass, scientists confirm that the placement of the high concentration of uranium located in the corpses rectum lead to his preserved state. The discovery of the rod brings to question the truth behind the world wars. As for us, we'll leave the speculation to the pundits.